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The Newly-Wed Woman Leaving Her Home

It is related that Asma bint Kharijah al-Fazzari said to her daughter at the (time of her) marriage:

You have left a nest in which you grew up and proceeded to a bed which you know not and a companion with whom you are not familiar. So become for him an earth, and he will become for you a sky. Become for him a place of rest, and he will become for you a pillar. Become for him a bondmaid, and he will become for you a servant. Do not make excessive demands from him, for he will then loathe you. Do not distance yourself (too far) from him, for he will then forget you. Should he draw near to you, then draw close to him. Should he keep his distance, then stay away from him (i.e. give him space). Be mindful of his nose, his hearing and his eyes such that he smells nothing from you but that which is fragrant, hears nothing but that which is good, and looks at nothing but that which is beautiful.”

(Imam Ghazali’s Ihya Uloom ud-Deen)

روي أن أسماء بنت خارجة الفزاري قالت لابنتها عند التزوج (إنك خرجت من العش الذي فيه درجت فصرت إلى فراش لم تعرفيه وقرين لم تألفيه فكوني له أرضا يكن لك سماء وكوني له مهادا يكن لك عمادا وكوني له أمة يكن لك عبدا لا تلحفي به فيقلاك ولا تباعدي عنه فينساك إن دنا منك فاقربي منه وإن نأى فأبعدي عنه واحفظي أنفه وسمعه وعينه فلا يشمن منك إلا طيبا ولا يسمع إلا حسنا ولا ينظر إلا جميلا).

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