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Relevant Material
Rules Pertaining to Nikah (Marriage)
(Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanwi)
Miscellaneous Fatwas Related to Marriage
(Maulana A S Desai)
The Islamic Status of Muslim Marriage Sites
(Mufti Muhammad Sajaad)
FATWAS
Q. My ustaad told me that according to the Maaliki Math-hab, when one goes to view a girl for marriage, it is permissible to see her naked? Can this be correct?A. Your ustaad is perhaps a member of some nudist camp. Perhaps he has been frequenting the nudist beaches or perhaps he has veered into insanity. There is no need to comment further on the muck your ustaad speaks.
Q. What is the Islamic way for a boy and a girl to see each other with the intention of marriage? May they speak? Should someone be present with them? Is it waajib to view each other before marriage ?
A. It is not Waajib to see each other before marriage, but it is wise and advisable. The purpose of seeing is not to ascertain character. It is not possible to ascertain the character of the parties merely by a brief viewing and by exchanging a few words. The purpose of seeing is to ascertain if they have a natural attraction for each other. If there is no mutual natural/ emotional attraction, then they should not get married because in these times of corruption and the almost total lack of Taqwa, the parties, especially the man will be attracted by other women/ men after their marriage. Since his wife exercises no natural/emotional attraction for him, he will perpetrate infidelity. We are aware of innumerable such cases. Even men who are outwardly pious and learned are guilty of such evil, treacherous conduct.
Therefore, especially, in these times it is necessary to view each other before marriage, but the viewing must be arranged discreetly. The viewing should be coincidental. The girl should not be aware that she is being viewed for the purpose of marriage. Frequently it happens that the boy after seeing the girl, is not inclined to her. Females being naaqisatul aql are extremely hurt and grieved by what they perceive as a rejection. On the other hand, if the girl rejects the proposal of the boy, it will not or should not perturb the boy. He has to take the refusal in good spirit.
Close Answer
Q. When viewing a girl with the intention of marriage, is it permissible to speak to her?
Q. Some scholars claim that it is permissible for girls and boys to chat telephonically for the purpose of marriage. Their grounds for permission are: (1) There is no nearness between them. (2) They seek surety. (3) Many marriages break up because they do not know each other. (4) The conversation is restricted to necessary talk.
A. The reasons proffered for legalizing an act which is explicitly haraam are downright stupid. The ‘fatwa’ which you say was given by an ‘aalim’, is in reality drivel disgorged by a jaahil posing as an Aalim. The arguments which he has presented to cancel Allah’s prohibition pertaining to premarital contact of the sexes are drivel and shaitaaniyat. No matter how ‘logical’ the arguments may appear to morons, Allah’s Laws cannot be cancelled. All forms of premarital communication are haraam. The stupid ‘fatwa’ is so ludicrous that a straight-thinking layman can also understand that this impostor ‘aalim’ is speaking bunkum.
Q. The girl whom my parents wish me to marry lives in another country I have not seen her nor has she seen me. Is it permissible to exchange photos for this purpose?
Q. A Nikah was performed over a cell phone. Is the Nikah valid?
Q. The girl and the boy are in different countries. Can the marriage be performed by telephone?
A. A nikah is not valid if conducted by telephone. The validity of Nikah is reliant on the Ijaab and Qubool being pronounced verbally in the presence of two Muslim male witnesses at the same venue. The simple way of performing such a marriage is for the woman to appoint a representative in the town/city where the man is. He will represent her at the Nikah ceremony which will be performed as usual. Or the man can appoint someone to represent him in the place where the woman is. The representative will then attend the Nikah ceremony on his behalf. The appointment of representatives may be done telephonically. Another method is to perform the Nikah by letter. One party can fax or e-mail a letter in which he/she proposes Nikah to the other spouse. This letter will be read out in the presence of witnesses, and the prospective spouse will verbally announce his acceptance.
Q. A boy and a girl who attend university had struck up a relationship. To end the sinful relationship they decided to perform nikah. But the parents refused because they wanted the couple to complete their studies. However, they decided to proceed with nikah without the consent and knowledge of their parents. The nikah was contracted over the phone. The boy had one witness by him and the girl had two witnesses. When the parents discovered this, they called an Imaam who said that the nikah was not valid. Another Maulana says that the nikah is valid. Please give the correct view of the Shariah.
The refusal of the parents is of no consequence, neither legally nor morally. Morally they have no right to refuse because in allowing their children to attend kuffaar university and strike up zina relationships they have abdicated and abandoned their Waajib parental responsibility. They have paved the path of Jahannam for their children. They thus have no Shar’i right to refuse when their children desire to rectify a haraam relationship and render it halaal. Parents should take note of this and not try to invoke their parental right and authority in such situations. Misdirected authority, be it parental authority, cannot be rewarded with obedience.
Parents who are engrossed with their worldly affairs and oblivious of the Shariah, are insistent on sending their daughters to immoral secular institutions. They have no objection to the haraam and illicit relationships of zina which their sons and daughters strike up at university. The evil relationship continues for long periods with the tacit consent of fussaaq parents. But as soon as the children enter into nikah, a storm is let loose and everything is done in an attempt to break the union. Remember that parental blessings and the performance of Nikah in the Sunnat style with honour and joy are ingredients of a holy setting, not of a haraam relationship.
Close Answer
Q. A close friend of mine states to me he has very few options and wants to get married over the phone, and wants me to be one of the two witnesses. On his side will be the witnesses and Imaam while overseas they will have the girl and her parents and more witnesses including Imaam and also lawyer who will expedite with all the necessary paperwork so they can join each other soon as they can. Is this way permissible? Or does the Nikah has to be performed again when she comes here or when he goes there? Please advice, on what best course of action my friend should take.
Q. If a man says to a woman that he is marrying her, and hands her a sum of money as mehr, and she accepts, is the Nikah valid?
Q. If an adult girl marries without the approval of her parents, is the nikah valid?
Q. A divorced Shaafi’ woman has no male relative to be her Wali for marriage. What should she do regarding her contemplated Nikah?
Q. A man has presented his proposal for marriage to a certain woman. Will it be permissible for another person to submit his marriage proposal to the same woman while the first proposal is yet under consideration?
Q. My friend has a strong interest in a particular girl. He intends to propose marriage. Is it permissible for me to propose marriage to her before he has sent his proposal?
Q. I am aware that someone intends sending a marriage proposal to a girl. Is it permissible for me to send my proposal to her before his proposal reaches her?
Q. Who should be the wakeel of a converted Muslim lady at her Nikah? She has no Muslim male relatives. How can she travel without having a Muslim mahram to accompany her?
Q. The Maaliki Imaam at the Musjid performed the Nikah of a pregnant woman. He was not aware that she was pregnant. Is the Nikah valid? And, what is the ruling of the Hanafi Math-hab? Will the child be legitimate?
Q. Whose duty is it to pay the Mehr?
A. The Mehr has to be paid by the man who is getting married. It is his obligation to pay the Mehr and it becomes the property of the bride.
Q. Is there any wedding engagement custom in Islam Besides the Mehr, what else has to be paid?
A. According to the Shariah there is nothing besides the Mehr to pay. There is no wedding engagement custom. However, people have introduced many baseless practices which have no origin in Islam.
Q. What is Mehr-e-Faatimi?
Q. Dowry (Mehr) was not arranged at the time of the Nikah. Is the Nikah valid?
Q. The mahr for girls in our family/society is 20,000 PKR. My parents had agreed to a considerably lesser amount, and I was under pressure to accept. I reluctantly agreed. But I feel utterly humiliated and insulted. Can I still claim the full mahr from my husband?
Q. If a krugerrand is giving to the wife with the intention of it being Mehr-e-Faatimi, will the Mehr-e-Faatimi Sunnat be fulfilled?
Q. Is it compulsory for the man to pay Mahr to validate the Nikah?
Q. A Nikah is renewed because one of the spouses uttered kufr. Should Mehr be paid again?
Q. A person says that it is not necessary for a written contract for a Nikah because this is not to be found in the Qur'aan and Hadith. Is he correct?
Q. Is it a must to perform a Nikah in a Musjid. Can it be performed at home?
Q. An Imaam of a Musjid says that Nikahs should not be performed inside the Musjid. Nikahs should be performed in the courtyard or in the section where Janaazah Salaat is performed. He says that because of the sanctity of the Musjid , Nikahs should not be performed inside. Is this correct?
A. The best place for a Nikah is the Musjid. Performing Nikah in the Musjid is not negatory of the sanctity of the Musjid. Nikahs are always performed inside the Musjid.
Q. In many weddings only the rich are invited. The poor are ignored. Is this correct?
Q. A relative of mine is getting married. I will not be attending the wedding function because it will be a mixed gathering of males and females. However, if I am asked to assist with the wedding preparations, will I be assisting in sin and transgression?
Q. A girl’s parents wish to have an elaborate wedding affair for her with all the usual customs, etc. But she refuses. If the parents insist, will she be disobedient for refusing to participate in the wedding customs, e.g. attending a hall, etc.?
Q. How should the Walimah be held?
Q. What is the best method for a walimah?
A. The best manner of fulfilling the Walimah is for the husband to invite a couple of relatives, friends and some poor persons to have a meal at his home. Even if there are five or six people, it will suffice. The Walimah should not be an elaborate function as are the haraam wedding receptions of this age.
Q. Whose obligation is it to arrange the walimah?
A. The Masnoon obligation of the Walimah is on the bridegroom. It is not the responsibility of the families. The man himself should organize the Walimah feast.
Q. Someone wishes to organize walimah in a restaurant. If it is ensured that the food is halaal, is it permissible to have a walimah in a restaurant?
Q. According to the Shaafi’ Mathhab, when should the walimah be?
A. The time for Walimah begins after the Nikah has been performed. It is permissible before or after consummation of the Nikah although according to some Shaafi Fuqaha it is preferable to have it after consummation of the marriage. According to the Shaafi Math-hab, the Masnoon time for Walimah is night time.
Q. According to The Majlis women are not supposed to attend Walimahs. I have been informed by some Maulanas that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) used to allow women to attend Walimahs. Please comment.
Q. Could the ‘waleemah’ feast be given before the Nikah has been performed?
Q. Is it Masnoon for both men and women to attend a Waleemah?
Q. Is the waleemah valid if held prior to consummation of the nikah?
Q. Will the wedding feast organised by the girl’s parents on the day of the nikah serve the purpose of the waleemah?
Q. Is the custom of the girl’s family hosting a reception at their home after the nikah a valid Islamic custom?
Q. At nikah functions, waleemahs and jalsahs there is much extravagance, show and pride. If invited, will I be sinful for not attending?
Q. A close relative is getting married. After the Nikah there will be a haraam wedding reception in a hall. Should I attend the Nikah in the Musjid?
Q. Please comment on the Hall receptions that take place nowadays after Nikah.
A. Among the haraam ways of fraternizing with flagrant sinners and abandoning Amr Bil Ma’roof-Nahyi anil Munakar (Commanding righteousness and prohibiting evil) of the Ulama of our times is their participation in Nikahs followed by haraam hall receptions. At reception halls a range of haraam acts of immorality are perpetrated. Everyone is aware of the flagrant transgression with which wedding receptions in halls are associated. It is not permissible for the Imaams of the Musaajid and the Ulama to perform such Nikahs in the Musaajid, which will be followed by haraam wedding receptions held in haraam halls. It is the obligation of the Ulama and Imaams to refuse to perform such Nikahs and to participate in any way whatsoever in both the Nikah and the reception.
Some miscreant molvies and sheikhs with naked shamelessness even venture into the haraam halls to deliver lectures. They have no respect for the Deen, for their Imaan and for Allah Ta’ala. People who are desirous of haraam wedding receptions in haraam halls should be told to have their Nikahs performed in the street or at their homes or at their haraam wedding ceremony. The sacred facility of the Musjid should not be allowed to the immoral and shameless sinners who make a mockery of the Deen. They clamour for a Musjid Nikah whilst they obey Shaitaan regarding the haraam wedding reception in a haraam hall. If the Ulama and Imaams of the Musaajid take the step of Amr Bil Ma’roof by debarring the shameless transgressors from using the holy Musjid facility for their mock nikah, then people will start getting the message and sober up. They will begin to realize their fisq and fujoor.
Close Answer
Q. My relative will be having a haraam wedding reception in a hall after the Nikah in the Musjid. I shall not be attending the wedding reception, but my parents want me to be present for the Nikah in the Musjid. What is your naseehat?
A. The un-Islamic, haraam wedding reception is mal-oon (accursed). The people who will be attending the haraam function will also become mal -oon. Satisfying their request is not permissible. Our practise here in P.E. at our Musjid is that we do not allow a Nikah to be performed in the Musjid if that Nikah is to be followed by a haraam reception. It is improper to attend even the Nikah in the Musjid when it is known that the people who have gathered for the Nikah are contemplating to commit fisq and fujoor whilst they are sitting even in the Musjid. They are making a mockery of the Deen for having the Nikah in the Musjid. They should have their Nikah in the accursed hall where they will be having their haraam function. You should never participate in even the Nikah. And, make known the reason for your absence. It is not permissible to obey the haraam wishes of parents. Politely refuse.
Q. When according to the Hadith women attended Walimahs, why will it not now be permissible?
Q. Is it necessary for the marriage to be consummated before the Walimah?
Q. Is the bridal showers custom permissible?
A. The bridal showers custom is haraam. It is in emulation of the kuffaar. It is not permissible.
Q. A Mufti says that marriage engagements are Sunnat. In Hadith terminology he says that an engagement is called khitbah. Is this correct?
Q. What does Islam say about breaking off an engagement (of marriage)?
Q. Is it true that a faasiq cannot be a witness; that he cannot marry a pious woman; that he cannot lead the Salaat?
Q. When does consummation of a marriage take place according to the Shariah? Someone said that sexual relations are conditional for consummation.
Q. In Islam how is a marriage consummated?
Q. If only the wife accepts Islam, not the husband, what is the status of their marriage?
Q. It is claimed that it is haraam for women to adopt the surname of their husbands. Please explain the Shariah’s ruling in this matter.
Q. The husband dislikes the name of his wife, and asked her to change it for a better name. The wife complied. Her parents are angry with her. In this situation what should the wife do?
A. If the husband wanted his wife to change her name, then she had acted correctly. Since it is the husband’s wish, the parents should accept the decision and not be offended or grieved. In an issue of this nature, the wife has to submit to her husband’s wishes even if her parents dislike it.
Q. What is the Islamic procedure for changing one's name?
A. There is no Islamic procedure for changing a name. The person is simply called by the new name.
Q. Is it necessary for a Nikah certificate to validate an Islamic marriage?
Q. The Shaikh who will be performing my Nikah does not have a marriage licence. Will the Nikah be valid?
Q. Is it permissible to register a Muslim marriage in terms of the secular law?
Q. I am about to get married. How will the new Muslim marriages law affect me. What should I do?
Q. Is it permissible to wear the customary wedding dresses in vogue today?
Q. Is it more meritorious for a bride to wear new clothes?
Q. Although the Nikah was performed months ago, the girl's parents do not allow her to live with her husband. They want to observe an 'official' departure ceremony. Is there any basis in the Shariah for this?
Q. I married recently. However, due to cultural restriction in our community in Gambia, I am not allowed to be with my wife. The family will allow my wife to live with me only after all the cultural restrictions/customs have been observed. Is there any Islamic proof for this?
Q. These days, even Ulama, at the time of nikah, send jewellery and money enclosed in envelopes (which I think is called Salaami) to the prospective bride even before nikah. Is this proper?
Q. On the wedding day there is a ring ceremony. The bride is fitted with the wedding ring. Sometimes the girl’s or the boy’s relatives put the ring on the bride’s finger. Is this ceremony permissible? If I do not allow it, will I be disobedient to my parents who insist that this custom takes place when I get married?
Q. Placing the wedding ring on the finger of his newly wed wife, a Muslim man following western custom, kneeled at the feet of his wife to fit the ring. What is Islam’s view regarding this ring-fitting custom?
A. The man who has aped the western kuffaar custom of kneeling like a monkey at the feet of his wife for placing a ring on her finger has become one of them. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: ‘Whoever emulates a people is of them.’ The ring practice is haraam, disgraceful and shameful.
Q. Is marriage during the month of Muharram sinful?
A. It is in fact sinful to believe that marriage in Muharram is sinful. This erroneous belief stems from Shi’ism.